Parents On The Blog

We, as father of a young life whom we brought into this world, have an un-negotiable responsibility to this child, who will one day carry our influence, positive or negative, far and beyond his or her childhood.

Today, a father can choose to leave behind a legacy and heritage that will one day be passed on from generation to generation. Or, he can surrender this freedom of choice and allow the haphazard and random forces of our surrounding to molest this precious life. Whether we like it or not, we carry a very fundamental and influential responsibility that should not be avoided, delegated, assigned, or entrusted to someone else. To delegate, assign, entrust or run away from such a blessed role is an apparent sign of ignorance, weakness, irresponsibility and immaturity.

To have a positive influence on your child takes time and effort. I have often heard many men, who are father and bread winner of the family, said, ‘I am so busy making a living I hardly have any time for my kid!’ Really? How about sleep one hour less? How about watch one program less of your favorite ball games or sports? We all have 24 hours a day. We all are busy making a living. We all have ends to meet. How about spend one evening less at the bar or coffee shop chattering with your buddy?

Some time early during the pregnancy of our first son Ethan, I read about a study on the cognitive development of a child by talking to them early. Because of that research finding, my wife and I started talking to our child, who was then only a fetus, as early as during the second trimester of pregnancy. As soon as Ethan was born, we continued talking to him everyday as though he understood what we were saying. If you were listening by the side, you would have thought we were silly and stupid! Well, we didn’t care how people would think of us. What was and is most important to us are the possible and potential benefits to our child.

In less than 2 months, our Ethan was saying, ‘OK’. By about 2 weeks passed 3 months, he said his own name ‘Ethan’. A week later, we heard him said, ‘Go ahead’ while I was talking to his mother. By 4 months, he was saying ‘Dae D’, not ‘da da’, frequently. By the fifth month, each time he saw me he became very excited and wanted me to carry him, otherwise he would cry and become grouchy! Vocally, we had heard him made all kinds of sound and pronunciation even before he was 6 months old. At times we believe he understands us when we give him simple instructions, such as ‘Relax’ while trying to change a diaper for him and ‘Good boy, drink your milk’ when he wants to play and refuses to drink his milk. These are just a short list of the landmarks in our child’s development.

I am not claiming our child understands all the words that he had spoken, though we believe he does understand some of them. Perhaps, he was just learning to make those sounds at this stage before he could understand them at a later stage. The study that I have read did mention that when a child makes a certain sound, it’s more than just an audio wave or frequency that vibrates through the air. What really happens inside is that the child begins to develop nerve connections in his brain for each new sound he or she makes. These nerve connections will make it easier for them at a later stage as they begin to develop their cognitive capacity.

Many studies have also shown that speaking to a child early will give them a stronger ability to learn language at a faster pace. To me, language skill is the foundation to most, if not all, skills and knowledge that a person wants or needs to pursue. I have a hunch that speaking early to our child had somehow established a special closeness with him.

I am not a child psychologist or specialist. I am just a normal father like you. I am not writing this to brag about my child’s development. I am quite sure many fathers out there had experienced what I had experienced. But somehow, many are still ignorant about what they could give to their child even in this time and age. I am overjoyed and excited to share this with everybody hopefully all fathers-to-be will benefit from my experience as a father.

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Jonas Lee

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