Parents On The Blog

I’m a husband and father to a happy half dozen. That’s kids, not wives, by the way. Being a larger-sized family, we’ve had to get creative with family entertainment. Some of the most fun ideas I’ve had have been some of the simplest. Here is a list of real ways I’ve cooked up some life-long memories in our family. Since these ideas fit in my tight budget, I’m sure you’ll be able to enjoy them as well.

Example 1: Get these books and more like them:Backyard Ballistics, Dangerous Book for Boys/Girls

If you don’t own these books, I recommend getting them immediately or perhaps getting a book like the Boy Scouts Handbook. If you want some ideas of what to do on the cheap, these are priceless resources, and very cheap. Backyard Ballistics is exactly what it sounds like, and includes designs for a potato launcher, a trebuchet, match rockets, hot air balloons made with recycled items and other great ideas. It’s great for anyone wanting to add a little excitement and flair (or “flare!”) to their log of family memories, and all the projects can be made on a budget. If you want to teach a little science and safety, it really helps to read this book for great ideas. The Dangerous books have plenty of fun and cheap thrills as well, but there are a few topics in there that may not be appropriate for younger kids, depending on your family’s convictions, but for the most part these books provide some great examples of easy and cheap fun.

Example 2: Box Boat

Seriously, this may sound so super simple that I should be embarrassed, but if you have kids and have seen them around Christmas or birthdays, you should be able to relate. Have you seen kids around empty boxes? I used to work in remodeling, so I had this huge water heater box I brought home. I wanted to read the kids a story, so I brought in the box, we colored it, and read a story involving a boat, a storm, and some animals. We used stuffed animals, decorated the box with crayons, and my wife and I rocked it to and fro to mimic waves. Guess what? Six years later, with my oldest being 15, the kids said, “Hey, daddy, remember the boat we made out of that huge box?” It doesn’t get much better than that, folks. My cost: about an hour of fun times with my kids.

Another example of fun with a box is to do what my dad did when I was a kid. I was in third grade, and we couldn’t buy a Halloween costume that year. Not willing to disappoint me, my dad grabbed some spare boxes, ducting, duct tape, silver spray paint and some other doohickeys and voila: he made a robot costume from scratch! Never mind that I could barely walk, it was one of those heroic moments in his fatherhood, I just about thought he was Superman. Overall cost: next to nothing, we had most of that stuff lying around.

Example 3: Pajama Run

What is a “Pajama Run?” Well, we robbed this great idea from friends of ours, and it’s basically this: you pick a favorite desert place. Ours happens to be local ice cream parlors. What you do is wait until everyone gets into their pajamas–and it has to be something you can wear in public, nothing risque. Then, before anyone brushes their teeth, you yell, “Pajama Run!” And everyone runs for the door and hurriedly crams into the car. Then you rush off to your desert place of choice and eat it in your pajamas. This works much better for those with pre-teens, or at least a flexible teenager. Overall cost: whatever you choose for desert, but we aimed for the special night of the week when our local ice cream shop had a screamin’ deal on single scoops. I think we spent a total of $10 or so.

Example 4: Picnics

Grab a blanket, some finger foods, and just re-locate your next meal. It’s that easy. Sure, you need to take weather into account, and mosquitoes and such, but even in the winter you can enjoy family picnics. How? Clear out the living room floor and lay out a blanket. Be sure to have a whole smorgasbord of “party food,” things like deviled eggs, finger sandwiches, maybe some fried mozzarella sticks and the like. Throw on your favorite movie or television show (or simply enjoy each other’s company like we did) and enjoy! I can’t believe how my young ones and my teen all equally enjoyed the simple fact that we were eating on “forbidden ground,” pretending to be on a picnic. It was a smash-hit.

Example 5: Create Your Family Holidays

This is another idea we nabbed from dear friends. We love holidays, but why wait for the next one? Every month, we try to schedule what we call our “Hussey Holiday,” since that’s our last name. We all sleep in the living room and every month it’s a bit different. Sometimes, we try to pull an all-nighter playing card games and just drinking too much tea. Other times we have a Nintendo Mario Party face-off, or tell ghost stories. We love the “camping” feeling minus the bugs and such, so we camp out in our living room when we can. We’ve even made homemade tents with blankets for the canopy, keeping the camping feel. If you have a fireplace, all the better! Pull out the kabobs and roast some marshmallows. Keep your family on their toes and ask them, “Does anyone know what today is?” Then tell them you simply can’t believe they didn’t know: it’s (insert your own title, I’ll use mine) Hussey Holiday! Every time I’ve done that, it feels like it’s everyone’s birthday all at once, and they yell out in excitement. Guess what? It’s free. My kind of good times.

I hope these ideas will all be used and modified to make your family time exceedingly fun. Personally, I look forward to going home each day, trying to cook something up to celebrate the fact that I’m the lucky husband and father to these fine folks. Creating memories like these doesn’t have to cost a mint, and will go a long ways in anchoring your kids identity into the positive and fun atmosphere it generates. Enjoy!

About the Author

James Hussey works in a family business by day, builds websites at night. His first of many websites is Elliptical Trainer Exercise, where you’ll find user-friendly information on elliptical machines. Visit http://ellipticaltrainerexercise.com today, where you can also find his contact information.

Every family has their own traditions. The ways they manage regular occurring events such as birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and even losses. The tradition dictates how these events are to be practiced and who is to attend. Built in to the tradition is the expectation that those involved will continue to be involved and follow their same roles and implicit rules. The family tradition makes for a shared experience and history between family members. The experience of the family tradition gives family members a common ground, a basis to their relationship. The family traditions are the glue that bind families together over time and space. In short, family traditions give meaning and speak to the nature of one’s family.

There is an inevitability with family traditions and just like the apple that must fall to earth, so too do family members feel the tug of their traditions.

For many persons the anticipation of the family tradition is met positively, with warmth and acceptance. For these persons there is a comfort in the family tradition. The family tradition provides for a sense of safety, familiarity and certainty. Whatever else is going on, whatever else is happening, many people can count on the family tradition to offer respite from the storm of life and a sense of belonging and harbour from life’s storms.

Even in view of family conflict, for many the family traditions, dictating roles, rules and responsibilities, help structure even fractured relationships. Whilst one may not be pleased with the conduct of others, at least the tradition organizes the conduct of other’s so that at the very least there is a comfort with predictability – knowing what may be coming, whether wanted or not. At least one will not be taken by surprise. The family tradition offers a sense of certainty, whether for a good expectation or not. In such situations, the family tradition may seek to be avoided, but in many situations, the pull is greater that the repulsion. We go; we tolerate; we may even fight; all as per the tradition.

And so we are all bound by our family traditions with whomever we consider to be our family. We move through the calendar year organized by life events and holidays. We carry on by ourselves only to be brought back to the vortex of the family.

We are as bound to the family tradition as moths to the flame until one day a change occurs that threatens or alters the inevitability of the family tradition. That change may occur from within the family or outside the family by circumstances beyond our control; aging; death; birth, marriage; divorce; separation; relocation. The integrity of the family tradition is compromised and the force to maintain it is pitted against forces of change. Uncertainty reigns, confusion sets in and roles and rules break down. Forces to maintain things as they were, fight against the push for reorganization.

There is a period of confusion as the family tradition either withers and dies, or transforms itself to carry on in news ways like the caterpillar changes into the butterfly. Not necessarily something better, but something different yet with the same DNA. In these situations, the tradition lives in on new forms with new guardians who pay homage to the past and contributing tradition. At times, the new tradition is not the changed version, but a melting of two or even more unrelated traditions. Some new traditions must accommodate to new demands; changing times; cross-cultural marriage; blended families; new countries of living. Time moves on, family traditions change or die. The survivors are either the groomsmen or pioneers. Generations past the torch to either be extinguished or rekindled, but inevitably, things change. None-the-less, we remember our family traditions.

Ramadan, Rosh Hashana, Thanksgiving, Christmas. The fall is upon us and we are remembering our family traditions. This unites us in our humanity.

Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW (905) 628-4847 gary@yoursocialworker.com http://www.yoursocialworker.com Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.

About the Author

Gary Direnfeld is a social worker. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider him an expert on child development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. Call him for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.